....big fucking word of the day.....

I often get razzed for using words that people don't get.... long words..... or obscure words..... it's just something that I love.... words are awesome! I love that descriptors can be so specific that there really is only ONE perfect word for any given situation, even though there are 20 other words that mean the same thing.....

So a new portion of this blog is gonna take the big-ass words i love and link them to an image I think fully explains its use.... cuz a picture is so much closer to an emotion, the link between letters and meanings.... if you are to believe Pierce or de Saussure


so, today's BIG FUCKING WORD OF THE DAY is:

Gephyrophobia

.....this is most righteous....

..... my mind is blown.... lasers are friggin cool.....and fuckin scary.....

......Defense contractors say that within the next 10 years they’ll have a solid state laser mounted on a Hummer that can put a hole in sheet of metal from several miles away...... Well Dutch graffiti writers can pretty much do that now with this Hymermobil rocking a GRL L.A.S.E.R. Tagging System........

just watch the video

....i've decided.....

....that I am in love with all things McGillicuddy.....

....the political party has my vote (unfortunately it counts for nothing in New Zealand)

....and henceforth I will constantly carry a small flask of dr.mcgillicuddy's new orleans style fireball whiskey in my purse..... it makes for some fun adventures on Saturday nights.... even if you do not learn about them until sunday afternoon, at brunch

.... the verdict's in....

....i started this post yesterday, so forgive me for being a bit behind, but contrary to popular opinion I actually have to WORK sometimes.... really cuts in to my pointless rambling time....

So, the federal government handed down the new Budget Monday.... and, like everything else in this country.... it really did not cause a stir.... What can I say, politics in this country are just not that big a deal.... we are fairly middle of the road, whether under a Conservative or Liberal Government we do our very best to be pleasant.... I am definitely not complaining...
The Budget does its bestest to cut a break to the individual in this country, like most Canadian policy does.... I am more than happy to live in a nation of social welfare... I wuold like to point out, though, that this calm water allows a lot of stuff to slip through, or, rather, a lot of nothing.....

This is an excerpt from an email circulated at my office yesterday:


"....Here's a quick overview of what the new budget means for culture.....



........Diddly squat.



The budget speech was silent on the sector, save a reference that the arts have benefited from $20 million raised through last year’s improved incentives for donations of securities to public charities. The 2007 budget expands this incentive to private foundations.

In the budget plan, there is a section on ‘celebrating culture’. The budget provides for a few programmes, with an emphasis on heritage and museums, worth about $40 million. Oh, and Quebec gets $82 million for several programmes including a Francophonie Summit in Quebec City. Gotta secure those Bloc votes.

Reaction from the sector can be described as guarded and disappointed."


Truth is, as private citizens, we are wary of rocking the boat.... We know we have it good in Canada, and its definitely not worth sacrificing what is Fan-fucking-tastic about this country for "Arts Funding" (read with a la-di-da tone please)....

.... Cuz the best art, to be honest, is created in wartorn, dictatorial, fucked up countries by angry, passionate, fucked over people..... Tolstoy, Swift, Buena Vista Social Club.... The Clash... These were all seen as artists born out of confliict and turmoil.... None of them received Grants....

There is, however, a program, at the moment, that I think would divert funds, without requiring more from individuals, and leave the money in the hands of people that are in the best position to seek out the level of conflict that does remain in Canada. The One Cent Now campaign is being spearheaded by David Miller, and other municipal leaders around the country, and asks that one of the six cents on every dollar that people currently pay in GST to the Federal government be given to the Munipalities to redistribute through their programmings and services. The Feds have already said that this one cent is almost unnecessary and I beg to differ.... The National level of Government is just too far away to see it.... Give the money to people who are face to face with problems, underfunded youth programs, shelters, arts grants, soup kitchens, afterschool programs, outreach.... all of these could profit from Harper's extra pennies.

Its worth taking a look at... It's worth supporting.... Just think what a second and a penny could do. (Like pay the salary of this poor not-for-profit employee)

.... weird sex and snowshoes....

.... i definitely cannot take credit for that FANTASTIC descriptor above.... it is the name a book by Katherine Monk, as well as the subsequent film that deal with the strange phenomena that is Canadian Film..... Basically it boils down to the fact that Canadians are weird, and frickin proud of it, eh!

Monk is saying in this book that if you were to boil down a Canadian film like so much maple sap you would get a sticky syrup of awkward sex pitched against a barren northern landscape

Now, maybe it is BECAUSE it is so damn cold up here, but Canadians love their sexual relations (not that I am diminishing the ardour or ability of other nationalities.... we just need to do something to keep warm) and it is reflected not just in film, but almost all our cultural products....

This was brought back to my attention this morning, when standing at the bus stop I was confronted with a poster for the Juno awards...... Nelly Furtado, who is hosting, is featured holding a gigantic, oversized, cartoon nipple, blown from the finest glass.... its sort of odd....

....Then I recalled a conversation that I had at last years Genie Award Nomination cocktail.... I was a little tipsy from my complimentary champagne cocktails and talking with Michael Mabbott (a great Canadian director, obsessed with sex in his own special way.... as well as a Canadian I would gladly hop in the sack with).... we had got to talking about the awards and somehow, due to the booze, and aided by the hugely disabling foot-in-mouth disease I seem to suffer from whenever I am talking to someone I am trying to impress I exclaimed how much the statuette resembled a cock'n'balls .

Suffice it to say, I was instantly mortified... and it did not prove to be a successful pick up line.... But it is odd, that Canadians have the symbols of cultural distinction so closely resembling such...intimate... items.... Perhaps we want the best of the best to have the tools at their disposal to continue on their weird sex journey....

"Congratulations, we think your swell, have sex toy... lets see what you can do with this!...eh"

....guy on a trike.....

I was just out having my breakfast (coffee, lots of sugar, and a cigarette) and I saw a guy riding by on a blue tricycle..... Now, I may love Toronto, but I am not about to claim that it has the best guy on a tricycle....

.... That honour is reserved for Montreal.... During my four years there Jack, the bearded weirdo, was a mainstay of my daily routine.... you only noticed his absence once he would return, but he was the sense of normalcy.... And its not just me.... Jack was was named number 5 on the Montreal Mirror's Best Montreal Weirdo List for 2006. I only know two of the other guys who beat him.... and they are TRES weird. Jack is not so much weird, as curious.

It was best not to think about him too much. Cuz then you would be left wondering.... why three wheels?.... where exactly is he going?.... How does he remain so fat if he bikes ALL day EVERY day?..... The questions could be endless, better just to appreciate Jack as the cycling weirdo that he was, and appreciate that the only thing you could count on, like clockwork, in a city like Montreal, was a guy that looked like Santa, pedaling lazily around the city daily on an oversized vehicle that was originally intended for children..... in other words. If there was no weirdness in your day, it was an odd one.

Postsecret

I am assuming that by now everyone knows about postsecret..... It is one of my favourite sites on the internet.... I think that I have checked it (at least) once a week for the past two years. I even went out and bought the first book (and am waiting for the second, once you read it once it's fun to look at but not the same, I wanna only get it once I can't take not having it anymore.

Just in case you don't know about postsecret, a quick overview is that a whole bunch of years ago a guy decided to go to his local library in Maryland and slip cards into a tonne of the books (i think he started with a thousand cards) asking people to take a 4x6 card and create a postcard with their secret on it. It could be ANYTHING. And he expected to maybe get a couple back. Within weeks he was getting thousands of secrets from all over the world. People were so excited to get their deepest darkests off their chests, safely, creatively, anonymously, that word travelled by mouth, email, letter, radio, telelvision and, now, thousands of secrets reach maryland each and every week.

I love that you can tell your secrets to someone who doesn't know you. I love, even more, that you can read other people's secrets and not know who they are, even though you know whats at the heart of them.

I hate, however, when they post people's responses to the cards. I mean, the whole point of the frickin thing is that EVERYONE has a response to EVERY card. I don't wanna know what people are thinking about something.

But today I have a comment. I am not sending it to Maryland.... I am putting it here. This is pretty much my postcard anyway. The snapshot of my twisted brain.... Today I saw this card and i couldn't help but wish that i had sent it(or that I could draw). I have no idea why that person wrote it, or what they meant by it. It could be interpreted so many ways. But I love it, because my crazy friends are the ones I love the most. They understand my crazy..... and don't make a big fucking deal of it. We are all their for eachothers' insanity. We help where we can, but more, we understand when help is not required. Just presence.

So to all my Crazies..... I love you to bits.... Thanks for being nuts.... It keeps me sane

.... outside the box....

.... these are just about the coolest things I have seen so far this year.....

.... i've decided....

.... that I want all my conversations to have hyperlinks....

....It would mean I could always avoid the fact that sometimes people just have absolutely no clue what the fuck I am talking about....

.....Cuz Sometimes....

.... people just have NO CLUE what I am talking about.... I am one of those peole that tend to make giant leaps forward in conversation without notifying anyone....

.... and generally I have no idea why they don't know how I got where I was going... I mean to me the links seem obvious. I may have made them all in my head, but what I say aloud seems to be the next obvious step in the actual conversation. If I were to actually stop and explain the referents that led me to the next statement I would lose my train of thought and be even more muddled..... also, I would not be half as amusing....

.... If I could somehow find a way to hyperlink myself I could then be able to speak freely, at my own pace, and when people got lost they could simply click through and find the meaning behind every word....


.... hw great would that be.

.... love the one you're with.....

Have I mentioned I love Toronto! I loved Montreal when I lived ther. And I love NYC when I visit, and he second I stepped off the plane in Vancouver the place felt like it could be home. New Orleans is wickedly, indescribably cool. Paris was like visiting a postcard, Dublin was the most fun I have ever had exploring, Jerusalem is a major headtrip (there is a law that every building MUST be built from limestone). Puerto Vallarta is a crazy mix of tourist and local culture, and the locals are Fuckin cool. London is amazing, I could spend forever there and be in a constant state of discovery and awe..... But Toronto is my home, and I love it that I live here. grew up here, no matter how much flack it takes.... I'll tell you why....

All the other cities on that list were amazing cities to visit, they are right out there, they wear the city's persona, culture, personality, right on the surface. If I spent longer there I am certain I would discover more, deeper, truer extents of what the city is made of, but I think even just visiting can give you a taste of everything the town can be. Everyone calls Toronto bland. I am not fighting that, the city centre, the business districts, they are bland, boring and empty.... But its a new city. Unlike Paris, New York, London, Toronto has a history that spans well under 2 centuries. And because of the time its growth was exploding there is only a very small part of Toronto that ever really encapsulated both an industrial and domestic space together. We are a city that separates community and industry. Not to say the two don't mingle, but only on a small scale.

Toronto is a city you have to know to love. It's a city of niches, hidden surprises and gems for those in the know. This may perpetuate the "Torontonians are Snobs" cliche that is oh-so rampant (especially in Montreal, but that is another rant for another time). But I guess I am ok with that, cuz I am a snob.... but by another name.... I prefer to think of it as a connoseuir. You gotta care to be a part of anything in this city, and it passes through the seekers, the discovers, into the hands of the coat tail draggers. That is when you can officially call something "905". Once everything that was glorious about something in this city has been squeezed out and replaced by ease of access and general knowledge.

Coming at it from the other way when someone who has never been visits Toronto the first places they tend to end up are the CN Tower, The Eaton Centre and The MuchMusic Building. Please, people, listen to me when I say, NONE of these things are even close to being what Toronto is. We hate them like Parisians hate the Eiffel Tower. Not what they are, but what they are seen as. The CN Tower is tall, but that's about it. The Eaton Centre is evil, and is to be avoided at ALL costs. The MuchMusic building is maybe the worst, as it takes what IS at the heart of what this city is and turns it into a simulacrum of itself. Geographically, culturally, the CHUM building is where real Toronto Culture meets the white-washed blandness that is worn on the citys face. But because it is one step away from the trash of tourism and surrounded by flash, lights, and noise of "downtown living", people assume it is the length of "edge" in the Tdot.

It's not..... So people, if you are coming Toronto, if you have never been, if you hated it the last time... make sure you get a Toronto Native (and not a Montreal ex-pat who "lives here now", you won't get off College St) to show you around. You will see things that keep you exclaiming.....

"..........I didn't realize....."



things like this and this (it's where I live), and this, and this and this and this and this (it requires buying a five dollar membership, but they give you a card proclaiming that you are officially, a "researcher") and this (luckiest mofos, definitely plan a sleepover if you know someone) and this and this and this and this and this (I have done it for hours at a stretch) and this and this and this and this and this and this and this.....

.... it goes forever, but you get the picture....

.....timing and circumstance.....

....Can really fuck you, even when it seems to be working in your favour. you just can convince yourself that the world wants you to win.... It seems so great, you are wooing, lulling in softly. The beauty is in the numbers.... it's so far away, there's no way I can get into trouble with this one. It's an impossibility. That's the beauty of this game. With so much distance, so much warning. There is NO way you can possibly get into trouble

...truth is, you are just talking yourself into a big ass hole.... It's always trouble. There may be distance, and the timing may seem right, but the matters of your heart, the bad habits you can't get over, they are with you always.... You have gotten in the jam this time, sticky and sweet, but you look up and its all suddenly too real....

.... and now you owe toronto hydro a kajillion dollars, and you are left thinking, how the fuck did that happen? I swear to god, I just paid this off... I had so much time... they gave me an extra month...... you know how it happened

fuck this is cool

.... I just saw Santa downtown....

.... he kinda smells, he's dirty, tired and taking donations....

....apparently the sleigh broke down...

.... I wonder if he had to eat the reindeer.... or slit them open to huddle inside for warmth (you all saw star wars, you know what I'm talking about)....

... Is it wrong that I walked by without dropping some change? I smiled..... but I think I am going on the naughty list this year... again....

.... a band of misfits....

... I am sitting amidst memory. The sounds of stories, and voices and laughter and song tell the story of who i am, at the heart. The people around me are where I have come from and, more importantly, who I have become. More than ever I realize that I am who I am because at 14 - wide-eyed, scared, lonely and alone - a group of people, thrown together by privilege and circumstance, showed me that all i was afraid of was being who i could become, and that who i could become was a person worth being.....

....She plays my goosebumps, my memory and my dreams. She plays my happy memories, my courage and my fears. She plays my sense of humour, my curiousity and my calm. And as i watch her from my seat, singing, joking, making fun of herself in a way that shows humility, yet awareness of her own power, her own talent, i am transported to another time, another realization....

....A rooftop amidst trees, the cool, granular tarring of rough roof on my back and a hot summer wind flowing over my front, I watched a million stars, lieing silently, still, amidst broken chords... they must have a name, but to me they are the chords that sound like water, dropping and breaking apart in waves on a glassy pool.... I lie and listen as music comes at me from above, on the peak of the roof, from her guitar.... her hands.... her voice.... her heart.....And that is the love that sustained me, nurtured me and gave me heart, strength and pride.... Humble and strong, soft, yet rugged. A mountain guide. And the goosebumps that come from knowing that this, this is a moment. Like, a 'moment'... that will stay with me, that i will remember, that will change me.... and i do, and it has. It was a moment of realization... not of anything in particular. just an awareness that it was a moment. As simple as that, or rather, as complex as the things that conspire to lead to awareness. The stars, the sky, the music and me. That was enough, it was everything.

A decade later. Another sky, another night and her voice brings it all back. To a room where the same people laugh, tell the same stories, the same jokes, that have linked us for a generation. Through time and change and distance and all that is growing up (or growing older). And we have, at our centre, a bond that is bigger than the stories we tell, the summer space we shared, the memories that exist for each of us. We are eachothers teachers, each others students, audiences, co-conspirators, cheerleaders, celebrators and shoulder to lean on. Life has taken us down different roads, we are a band of misfits, an unnatural table. We draw attention with our size, our disparity, the noise. there are suits and students and lawyers and singles and actors and wives and homeowners and worldtravellers and uncles and teachers and orphans and liquidity and renters... But somehow we are all the same.

We are the ones who put a lot of weight in sentiment. Empathy, Sincerity, Dependability, Integrity, Tolerance, Courtesy, Courage. These were words with meaning. Are words with meaning, for a group that devoted time, months at a stretch, to nothing but learning the value of the human spirit. Though I still feel silly spouting sentiment in a world where I am largely a cynic, I push through and put it out there. Tonight I am happy to be the fool who believes. To live in another moment. have a perfect moment live again through me. Tonight I trust that happiness and trust, purity of spirit exists. I saw it, in each memory changing, yet frozen in time, and perhaps in the spaces between us.




ps. the goosebumpsreside here - http://www.abandofowls.ca/

I have been talking about this for a while now....

.... and still no one has gotten it for me?


This is really the coolest thing I have ever seen. For someone who likes books, design, equality, and playing with meaning, it ties it all together in one kickass package.

I love that it didn't stop with the big three, I love that it is a big fuck you to so much history, while maintaining respect for the product of it, for the faith in it.... I love that I can have it at my house (well, one day, when I can afford to be cool). That it is a statement in ownership... not through swooshes or arches or logoes of anysort. It takes the original logo and brands it, through the unbranding of it, the evening out of what it is supposed to be.

I was talking about this the other day actually.... After I read this article I tried to engage a friend in the debate.... well, to be fair, I tried to get him to listen to me rant about what a great theory this is.... I miss my old college roommate. She was a theology and poli sci student. I majored in (pop) culture studies, and sociology. And it was the days where theory was king, no idea had to be applied. Only had to make sense. We had some zinger debates. I guess I look for that in anyone.

But I digress, since I could not get anyone to talk religion/branding with me I will simply rant here. There is less input from anyone, but also less dissent, which we all know I prefer. It seems like a smple concept, I know that people have caught on to it.... Religion was the first major brand. It had everything: logo/icon, visioning, brand loyalty, promise of fulfillment....lack of fulfillment, advertising/marketing teams.... the whole megillah, if I may.

And now that branding is the new religion, the old school is adapting..... (Buddy Jesus? anyone remember that from Dogma ?) All this adaptation is just trying to make religion more brand identified. It is the faith, the solidarity that are the points now, instead of the beliefs, the content of the "name brand" Even atheists are now a religion, in this new sense.

Because what is religion for, in this world of skepticism, intellectuallism, rationalism and, ultimately, loneliness? We are simply looking for something to believe in. It no longer has to be a deity, it just has to look good.