...boys....

...I am no longer curious about them....

.... I am now quite certain.... with no degree of confusion or inquisitiveness that they are simply the MOST confusing thing..... since girls....

....Whether you have dated them, slept with them, talked to them, looked at them funny, looked at them at all, flirted with them, broken up with them, gotten an std from one, given a gift to one, told any of them the truth (god forbid), walked by one, accidently let a nipple slip infront of one, breathed on one, smelled one, let one smell you, paid one a compliment, worked for one, employ one, work with one, been in the same room as one.......

.... I have lost my thought, oh yeah, there is no understanding them, no matter what, they manage to not be thinking anything that is rational, or even understandably irrational....

.... and i no longer care..... but, this, for some reason i am not (i repeat not) interestedin, will probably make me more attractive to them....

Let me tell you an epitomical story....

.... There was once a boy, we'll call him sammy (names have been changed to protect identity, plus, I could never actually have this happen with a guy named sam, way too weird) Anyway sammy and I were friends, and one new years (when I decided that drinking two bottles of champagne through a straw was a really great idea) we ended up making out. Just kissing, standing in a room full of people. At the end of the night I went my way, he went his....

.... well, Sammy went absolutely insane. He wouldn't talk to me anymore... When we were in the same bar, he avoided me like the plague... by the by it came out through mutual friends that he was afraid that I had fallen for him, that our drunken (sloppy) new years kiss had been misconstrued by me.... and that I actually believed that there was some future for us based on this kiss.... Do guys think we all fell off the pages of Cosmo magazine?..... Anyway... That is just half the tale

.... Thinking how RIDICULOUS Sammy was being I decided I would teach him a lesson. One night, a common friends birthday, I conspired with a couple of his friends to make sure he got to the bar first.... I wanted a dramatic entrance. So they tipped me off when he was settled and surrounded (this needed an audience) and I strutted into the bar and walked right up to Sammy, and started relling off his greatest fears, right to his face, to the stunned silence of the bar around me...

"How could you?" I cried, "I thought we had something special... you really meant something to me sammy... I mean, it was real, you felt it, I know you did.... and nothing? you don't even call, I mean, I thought we could really have had something, thatwe DID have something... you disgust me Sammy, no.... don't talk, nothing you can say will make this right... you know what, I can't even look at you right now, I just can't be here"

And with that I turned on my heel and strodeout of the bar, no looking back, expecting that all my co-conspirators would fill him in on the joke.... well, they did, and guess what...

.... It worked for him!!!!!! After that there was nothing I could do to keep him away from me, he wanted to take me out, he wanted to start something up. He found out I was kidding about the whole thing, that I was so surprised by the fact he thought I wanted something with him, and was so appalled by his behaviour that I would play such a joke, and all of a sudden, I was the girl he wanted....

.... seriously, who the fuck are they? I think all boys may be martians from the planet Whatthefuck, in sector, Itmakesnosense