Thursday, March 15, 2007

.... weird sex and snowshoes....

.... i definitely cannot take credit for that FANTASTIC descriptor above.... it is the name a book by Katherine Monk, as well as the subsequent film that deal with the strange phenomena that is Canadian Film..... Basically it boils down to the fact that Canadians are weird, and frickin proud of it, eh!

Monk is saying in this book that if you were to boil down a Canadian film like so much maple sap you would get a sticky syrup of awkward sex pitched against a barren northern landscape

Now, maybe it is BECAUSE it is so damn cold up here, but Canadians love their sexual relations (not that I am diminishing the ardour or ability of other nationalities.... we just need to do something to keep warm) and it is reflected not just in film, but almost all our cultural products....

This was brought back to my attention this morning, when standing at the bus stop I was confronted with a poster for the Juno awards...... Nelly Furtado, who is hosting, is featured holding a gigantic, oversized, cartoon nipple, blown from the finest glass.... its sort of odd....

....Then I recalled a conversation that I had at last years Genie Award Nomination cocktail.... I was a little tipsy from my complimentary champagne cocktails and talking with Michael Mabbott (a great Canadian director, obsessed with sex in his own special way.... as well as a Canadian I would gladly hop in the sack with).... we had got to talking about the awards and somehow, due to the booze, and aided by the hugely disabling foot-in-mouth disease I seem to suffer from whenever I am talking to someone I am trying to impress I exclaimed how much the statuette resembled a cock'n'balls .

Suffice it to say, I was instantly mortified... and it did not prove to be a successful pick up line.... But it is odd, that Canadians have the symbols of cultural distinction so closely resembling such...intimate... items.... Perhaps we want the best of the best to have the tools at their disposal to continue on their weird sex journey....

"Congratulations, we think your swell, have sex toy... lets see what you can do with this!...eh"

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