Wednesday, February 28, 2007

you calling me beetch!!?!?!

It's 8:28 - am making my first call of the night, for those of you not watching, or watching and completely idiotic, Natasha the Russian Mail Order Bride, will, i repeat WILL be on this season of America's Next Top Model.....

..... It's a whole new evil they have never had before. They have done straight-up bitch, lesbian bitch, funny bitch, drunk bitch, egotistical bitch, barbie bitch.... but never beetch with an accent..... I'm liking it. An hour and a half left to go. I can't wait, dahl-ingk!
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9:14pm - Kathleen is "officially" my favourite girl in da house! 'choo know?! She representin' brooklyn baby..... She sounds exactly like Rosie Perez.... whatever happened to Rosie Perez? Untamed Heart, White Men Can't Jump..... then....zilch.... Really, is there NOTHING in Hollywood for a woman who carries ver voice box around in her sinuses? I mean, they found room for Renee Zellwegger (who keeps an entire brass band shoved up her skinny ass)

It's the year for fat girls and accents. It's gonna be so bad... (and by that I mean fan-fucking-tastic)


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9:52 - They got rid of Kathleen! I can't believe it. But I guess it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Kathleen, i'll miss'choo gurl! Go home to Brooklyn and work it daily and nightly and ever so rightly. you fierce!

God I hate myself right now. But you can't,because if you even knnow what i'm talking about you are just as lame as me

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

everyone should do this... it's fuckin cool!

I am currently sifting through years upon years of entries, letters, random ramblings, to try and pick something to send. An opportunity not to be missed. I really wanna do this in the Tdizzle.... anyone interested in helping me out?


Eyelevel Gallery - DEAR DIARY…Call
----------------------------------------------------------------

DEAR DIARY…Call for letters, confessions, diary entries, found letters....
Brian looked really hot with spiked hair! like Billy Idol but not as mean!! I think he thinks I’m hot too because we fooled around after school in the equipment room behind the basketballs.

Have you ever professed your lust by letter? Did you write it in blood? Eyelevel Gallery is looking for your most heart-retching diary entries, pathetic notes of passion, confessions of revenge and ridiculous resolutions. Words that now make you cringe or wonder, “What the heck was I thinking?” Words that you don’t mind sharing
with a room of strangers…

Inspired by American cult phenomenon “Mortified,” here’s your chance to bare and hare all. On Friday March 9 (location to be announced), Eyelevel is hosting a fundraising night of real-life readings from brave souls in need of a hilariously cathartic experience. To secure your place at the microphone, email

director@eyelevelgallery.ca

with a very brief description of what you would like to read.

If you’re too shy, or if you live in Saskatoon, Vancouver or Quebec City, and still want to experience the joy and release of “Dear Diary,” Eyelevel Gallery will match your correspondence with an experienced reader who will interpret your words with kindness and spirit. Simply scan or email the words to director@eyelevelgallery.ca, or send a photocopy to Eyelevel Gallery, 2128 Gottingen Street, Halifax, NS, B3K 3B3.

Some suggestions:

Diaries, love letters, hate letters, postcards, emails, lyrics, phone messages, essays, calls for revenge. Anything that relives the pain of high school, broken hearts or dreams…

ABOUT EYELEVEL GALLERY

Since November 1974, when it first opened its doors in Halifax,
Eyelevel Gallery has been a major contributor to the local and
national visual arts community. It has been a venue for and supported
a variety of cultural events including theatre, dance and musical
performances. As a non-profit charitable organization, annual
fundraisers like Dear Diary enable us to continue to offer our
programming including exhibitions, workshops and artist presentations
to the public free of charge.



CONTACT
Email: Eryn Foster, Eyelevel Gallery, at director@eyelevelgallery.ca
Phone: 902-425-6412
www.eyelevelgallery.ca

Monday, February 26, 2007

.... skype is creeping me out.... and i can't really figure it...

... Who has skype?

... if you do, open it up, now go to the preference panel.....click on the sms tab....

.... they used as an example a passage from 1984... and not just any passage.... one that explains how Big Brother will always be there, it is unavoidable....

Smith
Does Big Brother exist?

O'Brian
Of Course he exists. The Party exists. Big Brother is the embodiment of the Party

Smith
Does he exist in the same way that I exist?

O'Brian
You do not exist.

Smith
I Think I exist
I am conscious of my own identity. I was born and I shall die. I have arms and legs
I occupy a particular point in space. No other solid object can occupy the same point simultaneously
In that sense, does Big Brother exist?

O'Brian
It is of no importance. He exists

Smith
Will Big Brother ever die?

O'Brian
Of course not. How could he die? Next question

.... I can not yet figure out how this relates to skype, but it seems sinister....

....any thoughts?

...boys....

...I am no longer curious about them....

.... I am now quite certain.... with no degree of confusion or inquisitiveness that they are simply the MOST confusing thing..... since girls....

....Whether you have dated them, slept with them, talked to them, looked at them funny, looked at them at all, flirted with them, broken up with them, gotten an std from one, given a gift to one, told any of them the truth (god forbid), walked by one, accidently let a nipple slip infront of one, breathed on one, smelled one, let one smell you, paid one a compliment, worked for one, employ one, work with one, been in the same room as one.......

.... I have lost my thought, oh yeah, there is no understanding them, no matter what, they manage to not be thinking anything that is rational, or even understandably irrational....

.... and i no longer care..... but, this, for some reason i am not (i repeat not) interestedin, will probably make me more attractive to them....

Let me tell you an epitomical story....

.... There was once a boy, we'll call him sammy (names have been changed to protect identity, plus, I could never actually have this happen with a guy named sam, way too weird) Anyway sammy and I were friends, and one new years (when I decided that drinking two bottles of champagne through a straw was a really great idea) we ended up making out. Just kissing, standing in a room full of people. At the end of the night I went my way, he went his....

.... well, Sammy went absolutely insane. He wouldn't talk to me anymore... When we were in the same bar, he avoided me like the plague... by the by it came out through mutual friends that he was afraid that I had fallen for him, that our drunken (sloppy) new years kiss had been misconstrued by me.... and that I actually believed that there was some future for us based on this kiss.... Do guys think we all fell off the pages of Cosmo magazine?..... Anyway... That is just half the tale

.... Thinking how RIDICULOUS Sammy was being I decided I would teach him a lesson. One night, a common friends birthday, I conspired with a couple of his friends to make sure he got to the bar first.... I wanted a dramatic entrance. So they tipped me off when he was settled and surrounded (this needed an audience) and I strutted into the bar and walked right up to Sammy, and started relling off his greatest fears, right to his face, to the stunned silence of the bar around me...

"How could you?" I cried, "I thought we had something special... you really meant something to me sammy... I mean, it was real, you felt it, I know you did.... and nothing? you don't even call, I mean, I thought we could really have had something, thatwe DID have something... you disgust me Sammy, no.... don't talk, nothing you can say will make this right... you know what, I can't even look at you right now, I just can't be here"

And with that I turned on my heel and strodeout of the bar, no looking back, expecting that all my co-conspirators would fill him in on the joke.... well, they did, and guess what...

.... It worked for him!!!!!! After that there was nothing I could do to keep him away from me, he wanted to take me out, he wanted to start something up. He found out I was kidding about the whole thing, that I was so surprised by the fact he thought I wanted something with him, and was so appalled by his behaviour that I would play such a joke, and all of a sudden, I was the girl he wanted....

.... seriously, who the fuck are they? I think all boys may be martians from the planet Whatthefuck, in sector, Itmakesnosense

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

crossways, and sideways and upways and downways

I really want a glass elevator, like willy wonka has.... not like the one in the movie (in either movie) but like the one in the book, which is confined only by the limits of imagination.... that thing could go frickin'anywhere. I nmy head that (and the bus in the harry potter book) is like the coolest way to travel.... teleportaion would be nice, i mean it's fast and all, but zooming, so that it could be REALLY fast, and still include travel that would be stellar!

I like travel, its the closes thing to suspended animation I think I will ever experience, I'm there, but have nothing to do, just exist. I am doing nothing, but going somewhere, getting things done....

.... travel is the lazy mans favourite activity....

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

by jove, i think i got it

I had one of those huge state of the union talks with one of my friends tonight. He is in a new relationship... as he has been several times over the last year... and he said something that struck me as so true that i felt the need to share it with everyone (if anyone actually is reading this) he said:

I think love is what happens after you stop wondering why it has to be so hard.

I loved it so much i almost leaped across the table and kissed him! It's so true. cuz you can care for someone so deeply and be in such the wrong place that it can't possibly be right. It's the whole right place right time thing... and it brings in that "you just know" thing. you don't know cuz it's easy, you know because...well... because you just know. And no matter how easy, or right on paper it may be, it can be just not right, and if you are worrying about whether it is, it probably isn't.

The truth is, if it is meant to work, you are gonna worry about how, not why. Why isn't even a factor.

That was my parents problem, or rather, they are the illustration of their generations problem.... they didn't care about why...Not at first anyway. See, our grandparents way worked... they didn't care about why, they just asked the other questions. the answer to why was "because" or even "we have to"... Our parents, they were raised this way, and then collective consciousness showed them that there were other options... than they started to se them, make them attainable, and stop thinking they owed anyone anything.... Now we "owe it to ourselves," and to the people around us, as we cannot serve them until we know how to serve ourselves... we have been somewhat forced into self-analysis. In this modern world of pop psychology and over-rationalization, "WHY" has been drilled into us, and we can't even begin to consider how, where, when, or anything else, unless that ever-ethereal why, is not an issue.

The problem of course is that why is always countered by "why not?" The problem now is, that why not has also grown exponentially, with quicky divorce, fast food, microwave, internet mentality. Everything that is done can be done faster, and undone just as quickly. It can be erased, and with valium, be like it never happened at all.

I think this may be why i am so relationship-phobic. I due to circumstance and parent-induced psychosis, got forced, very young, to ask myself "why" when it wasn't even a quetion i could even begin to answer, or even have the courage to deal with. Now it is so ever-present in my mind that that gut feeling, that fear, that doubt, has become so familiar that even the slightest whiff of it can send me running.

Am I luckier? cuz I won't end up in the wrong situation? or am i dooming myself to fail? cuz I am not allowing myself the chance to make something of nothing. Can you make something from nothing, or must you discover something that was there all along?

there are no answers, I know. and my own solution will happen as it happens, no matter what anyone says... I really don't care that much... I think, even at 20-whatever, I have seen and experienced enough to know that it all keeps going, and like it or not, I will end up somewhere, somehow, and that my own nature won't let me stay if it ain't no good (yes, I likes me some honky-talk)....

This seem to take a more stream of consciousness approach that I was not really going for... If you read this far you must be fucking bored out of your mind.

Monday, February 19, 2007

A is for apple, that's good enough for me....

... you can keep your D for Dells, your HPs, your IBMs, I like my mac... And I'll tell you why...

...today, after months of hemming and hawing and procrastinating... I finally bit the bullet and went to the apple store to get my ipod looked at. It has only had sound coming out of one of the earphones for a while now... and before you ask, yes, I tried it with one than one pair of headphones... it just wasn't working...

....And the lovely folks at the genius bar were GREAT. They told me i was over my warranty's limit, but just, so they would help me out anyway. Than, after asking a couple of questions, they handed me an entirely new ipod.... that's it. no hassle, no sending it off to be "tested" at the head office.

When I was in university my monitor's power source blew, and taking it back to future shop was, i think, the most stressful thing I have EVER done in life! They made me send it away to be repaired, buy a new one, which they would not cover with a warranty, and then when they realized they couldn't fix my original they wouldn't just trade it for the EXACT same one I had bought as a replacement. I had to return that and get the "official" substitute for my monitor, returning the old-new one at a cost to me.... A nightmare, to be sure.


So Steve Jobs, congrats... you run a good company there. You realize that your instruments while great, are fallible and are more than happy to keep us, your consumers happy. (He has also been taking action with the music labels to open up copyrights so that stuff downloaded from itunes is compatible with other brands of mp3 players... how's that for free-market economy)

An apple a day (while making me broke) keeps the blues away!!!!

spring forward..... now, now, NOW

Apparently the groundhog has no effect on the lawmakers.... Daylight Saving Time has been bumped up by three weeks and now will now occur March 11 (last year it was April 2nd)

Damn Tree Huggers, always lobbying to make my life less comfortable... Actually, the bill passed so that we can make increased use of natural daylight and save on energy costs and emissions for the extra three weeks, when the sunlight through your window is waking you anyway... before the alarm goes off.

So come March 11 you will have to get out of bed one hour earlier, but at the same time.... always weird.

I am happy todo it for my sistah (mother earth)... but I will miss the loll around in bed, half-awake, half-asleep in the cognisent dream state. That's the best time of day... The only thing you are really conscious of is how comfy the bed is and how you have nothing to do but lie in it for a bit.

Why is it that the bed is never as comfortable at night as it is in the morning time... I guess dream-soaked sheets are full of the days promises, that cold floors quickly whisk away...

...errr....sorry, that was today's attempt at poetry... those days are few and far between, I promise

Saturday, February 17, 2007

jeeves..... finally....

I gots me a butler.... at least a virtual one.... My hot, nude manservant will have to wait for my millions.... but while i wait, this site is pretty cool

www.netvibes.com

It organizes all the sites you waste all your time visiting so that your day can find your junk more efficiently and make your procrastination so much more effective.....

I have my gmail, myspace, blog feeds, video/image searches, craigslist, gossip sites, news feeds, fave blogs, weather, all sitting on one streamlined, collapsible page..... i am loving it....

...especially that i put my to-do list in the top left hand corner..... and the only thing on it so far is the "buy milk" notation that it loads up with..... note to self.... find things to do


that'll never happen now!

Friday, February 16, 2007

i am officially blogging

I am done with notes.... now I blog.... if you are reading this on my facebook it is a feed, I repeat, this is only a feed.... the original simulacrum can be found at www.chroniccuriousity.blogspot.com...

... I have given in, friendster, myspace, facebook, I am an internet whore, and I crave attention, I love to write, and I am kind if getting hooked on this whole, "sometimes people are actually reading it" thing.... so i think I may stick with this...


...if you know anything about simple html, or blogger.com and want to tell me how to make this look cool, please help me out!